Monday, January 28, 2008

 
IDENTITY CRISIS IN GAZA

Gaza, Gaza, what are we going to do with you? Do you actually expect us to live like you? When you lob these Qassams at Sderot, we live in dread. Well, Circus Israel doesn’t dread. We cause dread. We don’t take consequences, we give them. That’s why we have war planes, helicopter gunships, drones, artillery and armored vehicles. That’s why we use them. So that you’ll live in dread until you just can’t stand it. Then you’ll go away. Why can’t you understand this? The whole reason Circus Israel threw you out was to live like winners. If we’re going to be anxiety-ridden and depressed like you, what’s next? Negotiations? Circus Israel doesn’t negotiate. We dictate. That’s it.

OK, look, here’s a deal for you. We offer this NOT because you’re such a pain in the ass, but because we’re the best people on this planet, period. Now listen - Chief Rabbi Metzger is willing to relocate you in a brand new state in Sinai. As he says, you’ll have everything – “trains, buses, cars,” whatever. Free of charge. Rabbi Metzger says it’ll be “like in Arizona.” Arizona! That’s right next to California! What more can you want? That’s it.

OK, listen, the Rebbe didn’t mention this, but we’ll even dig you a Grand Canyon, “like in Arizona.” A tourism magnet, baby. Donkey rides, helicopter rides – no, no helicopter rides. We can’t let you leave the ground. Security reasons. Anyway, donkey rides.

Thank Rabbi Metzger for this. From his own pocket, he gives you Egyptian land and makes a big suburb for you with American and European money. You win, we win. And don’t start whining about your attachment to a particular piece of land. That’s strictly for Jews. That’s it.


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