Wednesday, February 6, 2008

 
LETTER FROM PEACE CAMP

Dear Mom and Dad,

I hate Peace Camp! Please come take me home. This camp sucks!!!

There’s no camp spirit at all. Everyone just mopes around. Not that I blame them, since the Arab camp never has anything good to say about us. We’ve told them a hundred times that we’re thinking about getting ready to consider some kind of procedure for setting up a process to define parameters for talking about talking about preliminary principles. Nothing satisfies them. It just pisses me off.

Take last Monday, for example. We invited a famous novelist to come talk about our precarious existential condition and what does the Arab camp do? They lobbed shit over the fence. Again. It just makes everybody mad, and that makes it even harder to help them. They never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity to suck up to us kids in Peace Camp. Well, if they’re just going to throw shit at us, I don’t even want to try anymore. Basically, I use my free time to masturbate.

I sure thought Peace Camp would be a lot easier. I came fully prepared to posture about painful concessions, but these Arab jerks actually expect me to make some. Yeah, right. Like I’m going to tell the settlers to move. They’d kick my ass. And then what? I really can’t stand the Arabs for making me feel impotent like that.

In fact, I think we should just attack the Arab camp one night and beat the shit out of them. I mean really stomp them. Then they’ll start behaving themselves and we can all have some peace and quiet. I know it’ll work. Yaron London said it will. It would work on him.

Shalom. And please send more halvah.
Moshe


Comments:
Instead of halvah, can I interest you in some baklava?


Shalom,
 
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