Tuesday, April 22, 2008
WHO’S THE BIGGER CHUMP?
In the Israeli-American alliance, who’s getting punked – the bulked-up superpower or the combative ethnocracy? CI posed the question to an Israeli and an American.
Ari is a Canadian-born free-lance web designer residing in the Ariel settlement. He likes motorbikes, vigilante patrols and the color orange. Ari says:
EMPTY YOUR POCKETS! Where’s our money, America?? There’s serious Jewish poverty in Israel. For most of our 60 years, we’ve been your sheriff on the petroleum frontier. How much is that worth? Well, let’s see. If Joe Stiglitz is right, Iraq is draining you of 3 trillion bucks, and it’s a long way from over. Let’s say he’s only half-right. Where’s our trillion-five? For all the sand and blood you didn’t swallow before 2003. And what’ve we got for our trouble? $100 billion? Maybe another $20 billion off the books? And how much of that chump change just went to your arms industry anyway? You obviously can’t do your own bag jobs. You can’t put a ship in a Yemeni harbor or a barrack in Lebanon without getting yourself blown up. You played Chuck Norris in Iraq, but you had no bleeding script. Now your military’s tied down like Gulliver and your gas is jumping past 4 bucks a gallon. But we’re still on the job, aren’t we? That was an IAF operation in Syria, wasn’t it, big brother? Meanwhile, no one, including Iran, is opening a second war front in the neighborhood, are they? That ain’t because of you, you clown. We live on the edge, everyone loathes us, you block our deals with the Chinese, but you still want a discount? Pay up, you deadbeat asshole!
Kevin is a 4th-year metallurgy major at Virginia Tech University. He likes dirt bikes, Dungeons & Dragons and Sam Adams in long-neck bottles. Kevin says:
GROW UP! Happy 60th birthday, moocher. Does this mean you're old enough to pay for your own ethnic cleansing party? We realize you don’t think we have anything better to do with our soldiers and money, but this targeted assassination number we did on Saddam has become a full-blown occupation purgatory. It just doesn’t leave much to finance your Jerusalem/West Bank building boom and make your contractors richer than they already are. And why do you keep begging for more and more? So your little cult can have its theme park. Not just minus everyone else, but minus borders. In case you haven’t noticed, modern states have some goddamn boundaries. Hey, the Bible ain’t a property deed, but if you want to treat it like one, pay for your own hallucination. We don’t really care if you control every aquifer, every hilltop, every olive tree and every tourist-magnet-in-a-tomb. You’re addicted to conflict and you cause more blowback than a drunk puking out a car window. Fuck you and the narcissism you rode in on!
In the Israeli-American alliance, who’s getting punked – the bulked-up superpower or the combative ethnocracy? CI posed the question to an Israeli and an American.
Ari is a Canadian-born free-lance web designer residing in the Ariel settlement. He likes motorbikes, vigilante patrols and the color orange. Ari says:
EMPTY YOUR POCKETS! Where’s our money, America?? There’s serious Jewish poverty in Israel. For most of our 60 years, we’ve been your sheriff on the petroleum frontier. How much is that worth? Well, let’s see. If Joe Stiglitz is right, Iraq is draining you of 3 trillion bucks, and it’s a long way from over. Let’s say he’s only half-right. Where’s our trillion-five? For all the sand and blood you didn’t swallow before 2003. And what’ve we got for our trouble? $100 billion? Maybe another $20 billion off the books? And how much of that chump change just went to your arms industry anyway? You obviously can’t do your own bag jobs. You can’t put a ship in a Yemeni harbor or a barrack in Lebanon without getting yourself blown up. You played Chuck Norris in Iraq, but you had no bleeding script. Now your military’s tied down like Gulliver and your gas is jumping past 4 bucks a gallon. But we’re still on the job, aren’t we? That was an IAF operation in Syria, wasn’t it, big brother? Meanwhile, no one, including Iran, is opening a second war front in the neighborhood, are they? That ain’t because of you, you clown. We live on the edge, everyone loathes us, you block our deals with the Chinese, but you still want a discount? Pay up, you deadbeat asshole!
Kevin is a 4th-year metallurgy major at Virginia Tech University. He likes dirt bikes, Dungeons & Dragons and Sam Adams in long-neck bottles. Kevin says:
GROW UP! Happy 60th birthday, moocher. Does this mean you're old enough to pay for your own ethnic cleansing party? We realize you don’t think we have anything better to do with our soldiers and money, but this targeted assassination number we did on Saddam has become a full-blown occupation purgatory. It just doesn’t leave much to finance your Jerusalem/West Bank building boom and make your contractors richer than they already are. And why do you keep begging for more and more? So your little cult can have its theme park. Not just minus everyone else, but minus borders. In case you haven’t noticed, modern states have some goddamn boundaries. Hey, the Bible ain’t a property deed, but if you want to treat it like one, pay for your own hallucination. We don’t really care if you control every aquifer, every hilltop, every olive tree and every tourist-magnet-in-a-tomb. You’re addicted to conflict and you cause more blowback than a drunk puking out a car window. Fuck you and the narcissism you rode in on!
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