Sunday, June 22, 2008
CIRCUS ISRAEL CLARIFIES INTENTIONS
Officials have been frustrated by diplomatic misinterpretation of recent Israeli actions. Israel’s refusal to allow Gaza students to claim their Fulbright Fellowships was wrongly construed as pressure on Hamas, while extensive air force exercises over the Mediterranean were erroneously perceived as a warning against Iran’s nuclear ambitions. “This is completely backwards,” griped Mark Regev, wind-up doll for PM Ehud Olmert. According to Regev, the air force exercises were meant to emphasize that Palestinians are puny and powerless and incapable of wresting even a scrap of ground from Jewish control. “Why would a nation that refuels jets in mid-air surrender anything to peasants that schlep stuff with donkeys? What part of ‘mighty’ don’t they understand?” As for the stranded Gaza scholars, David Baker, another PM bullshit machine, said Israel was signaling that Iranian students would be barred from southern California universities if Iran continued asserting sovereignty within its own borders. Baker emphasized that the same academics and contributors that have silenced criticism of Israel in American universities are ready to ensure that Iranians find closed doors at UCLA, USC and Cal State Northridge. “By the way, these Iranian students live like princes, club-hopping all night and skipping class. Let’s see how Ahmedenijad likes having those fashionistas come back home,” said Baker. Added gruff PM wannabe Shaul Mofaz, “anyone who misreads Israel’s signals is just asking for trouble.”
Officials have been frustrated by diplomatic misinterpretation of recent Israeli actions. Israel’s refusal to allow Gaza students to claim their Fulbright Fellowships was wrongly construed as pressure on Hamas, while extensive air force exercises over the Mediterranean were erroneously perceived as a warning against Iran’s nuclear ambitions. “This is completely backwards,” griped Mark Regev, wind-up doll for PM Ehud Olmert. According to Regev, the air force exercises were meant to emphasize that Palestinians are puny and powerless and incapable of wresting even a scrap of ground from Jewish control. “Why would a nation that refuels jets in mid-air surrender anything to peasants that schlep stuff with donkeys? What part of ‘mighty’ don’t they understand?” As for the stranded Gaza scholars, David Baker, another PM bullshit machine, said Israel was signaling that Iranian students would be barred from southern California universities if Iran continued asserting sovereignty within its own borders. Baker emphasized that the same academics and contributors that have silenced criticism of Israel in American universities are ready to ensure that Iranians find closed doors at UCLA, USC and Cal State Northridge. “By the way, these Iranian students live like princes, club-hopping all night and skipping class. Let’s see how Ahmedenijad likes having those fashionistas come back home,” said Baker. Added gruff PM wannabe Shaul Mofaz, “anyone who misreads Israel’s signals is just asking for trouble.”
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