Monday, June 23, 2008
SHAUL MOFAZ HAS AN ABSTRACT THOUGHT
Shaul Mofaz, Circus Israel’s Transportation Minister and Deputy Prime Minister, confirmed what close associates have recently claimed – he had an abstract thought. Rumors began floating over a week ago, and on Thursday a Mofaz confidant, Juma Azbaraga, commented publicly that “Shaul had a fuzzy feeling in his head.” Mofaz acknowledged this today. “All of a sudden, there it was. Look, these things can happen to anybody.”
Despite persistent questioning, Mofaz didn’t describe the abstract thought in any detail. “I don’t have words for this kind of nonsense. I don’t need them.” Mofaz explained that his thoughts are typically more aggressive and pertain to replacing beleaguered PM Ehud Olmert or attacking Iran. He did not welcome the abrupt onset of abstraction. “It made me uncomfortable. Not frightened, of course. I’m a military man. But uneasy.”
The Iranian-born Deputy PM emphasized that the unwanted thought had not diminished his determination to bring about regime change in both Tehran and Jerusalem. “Not at all. It was just a stupid thing about clouds or something.” Mofaz reiterated that nothing but a punishing air assault would achieve Israel’s desired result in Iran.
Azbaraga conceded that he had leaked news of the abstraction before Mofaz’s rivals could discover it independently. “I could see Shaul was upset. Not frightened, of course. He’s a military man. But testier than usual. I made sure he got out in front of the story and controlled it.”
Mofaz initially denied ever entertaining abstract thoughts in the past. He insisted that even his dreams are very concrete and usually about replacing beleaguered PM Ehud Olmert or attacking Iran. However, after another Mofaz associate, Shlomo Abramovitz, said that Mofaz had once made a “very far-out remark” at a political meeting, Mofaz admitted the earlier abstraction. “I just wondered why some animals had extra breasts. That’s all.”
Shaul Mofaz, Circus Israel’s Transportation Minister and Deputy Prime Minister, confirmed what close associates have recently claimed – he had an abstract thought. Rumors began floating over a week ago, and on Thursday a Mofaz confidant, Juma Azbaraga, commented publicly that “Shaul had a fuzzy feeling in his head.” Mofaz acknowledged this today. “All of a sudden, there it was. Look, these things can happen to anybody.”
Despite persistent questioning, Mofaz didn’t describe the abstract thought in any detail. “I don’t have words for this kind of nonsense. I don’t need them.” Mofaz explained that his thoughts are typically more aggressive and pertain to replacing beleaguered PM Ehud Olmert or attacking Iran. He did not welcome the abrupt onset of abstraction. “It made me uncomfortable. Not frightened, of course. I’m a military man. But uneasy.”
The Iranian-born Deputy PM emphasized that the unwanted thought had not diminished his determination to bring about regime change in both Tehran and Jerusalem. “Not at all. It was just a stupid thing about clouds or something.” Mofaz reiterated that nothing but a punishing air assault would achieve Israel’s desired result in Iran.
Azbaraga conceded that he had leaked news of the abstraction before Mofaz’s rivals could discover it independently. “I could see Shaul was upset. Not frightened, of course. He’s a military man. But testier than usual. I made sure he got out in front of the story and controlled it.”
Mofaz initially denied ever entertaining abstract thoughts in the past. He insisted that even his dreams are very concrete and usually about replacing beleaguered PM Ehud Olmert or attacking Iran. However, after another Mofaz associate, Shlomo Abramovitz, said that Mofaz had once made a “very far-out remark” at a political meeting, Mofaz admitted the earlier abstraction. “I just wondered why some animals had extra breasts. That’s all.”
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