Friday, September 5, 2008

 
CALM STREETS, SWIFT CHANGES AFTER COUP D’ETAT

An uneasy quiet blanketed Circus Israel today after an alliance of settlers and ultra-orthodox Jews unseated the elected coalition government in Jerusalem. Although bands of armed settlers patrolled the streets of several cities, most Jewish Israelis appeared to conduct their everyday activities without interruption. Said one secular Israeli software designer, “the settlers and the haredim called the shots anyway, so let’s not get too excited.”

Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and most members of his cabinet, including Defense Minister Ehud Barak, have gone into hiding. Shmuel Ben-Yishai, the Acting Prime Minister of the Provisional Government of Eretz Israel, declared that “the traitors will be hunted like rodents and dealt with according to Halakah.” Israeli President Shimon Peres, who has also gone into seclusion, offered via email to remain in office to assure an orderly transfer of power.

According to a communiqué released by the Provisional Government, Israel will not renounce violence, honor existing agreements with other entities or recognize the right of Palestinians, or any other Arab group, to a state of their own. The citizenship of Israeli Arabs has been revoked in a mass swearing-out ceremony. “The
debate about a Jewish state or a democratic state has been settled,” Ben-Yishai declared.

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