Monday, September 8, 2008
YIGAL AMIR APPOINTED TO MINISTRY
Yigal Amir, the assassin of Yitzhak Rabin, was named Attorney General by the Settlers’ Selection Committee. Prime Minister Noam Federman praised Amir’s legal experience. “Yigal was a law student, so he appreciates the importance of the rule of law. And he’s won every case he’s had in prison. Except that sperm thing.” Amir will assume his duties after vacating his cell. “I’ve collected some pretty nice stuff and I want it packed carefully,” Amir said. He expressed excitement about his new role and looks forward to “showing I can do things besides shooting motherfuckers that piss me off.” Amir fathered a child while in prison, and plans to enjoy as much “quality time” with his son as his official duties permit. “But I’m not into a lot of crying - hey, get out of my business. Family’s off-limits in politics.”
Yigal Amir, the assassin of Yitzhak Rabin, was named Attorney General by the Settlers’ Selection Committee. Prime Minister Noam Federman praised Amir’s legal experience. “Yigal was a law student, so he appreciates the importance of the rule of law. And he’s won every case he’s had in prison. Except that sperm thing.” Amir will assume his duties after vacating his cell. “I’ve collected some pretty nice stuff and I want it packed carefully,” Amir said. He expressed excitement about his new role and looks forward to “showing I can do things besides shooting motherfuckers that piss me off.” Amir fathered a child while in prison, and plans to enjoy as much “quality time” with his son as his official duties permit. “But I’m not into a lot of crying - hey, get out of my business. Family’s off-limits in politics.”
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