Friday, September 11, 2009
ISRAEL BIDS FOR 2016 OLYMPICS
Israeli officials announced today that they have submitted a bid to host the 2016 Summer Olympics. Although the formal deadline for applications passed two years ago, Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu said that he “never let international organizations decide what’s best for Israel.” The PM promised that Israel would “vault past” the four cities already chosen as finalists by the International Olympic Committee. “We have something Tokyo, Madrid, Chicago and Rio de Janeiro don’t have – a lethal security barrier.”
After Mr. Netanyahu departed for a “secret meeting with the Russians to discuss Iran,” National Infrastructure Minister and racist crackpot Uzi Landau described the details of the Israeli bid. “Lots of housing. To accommodate all those athletes and personal trainers and whatever, we’ll build thousands of housing units in Judea, Samaria and East Jerusalem.” He identified Ma’ale Adumim and the E-1 area, Givat Ze’ev, Ariel, Har Gilo, the Jordan Valley, Hebron/Kiryat Arba and several Arab neighborhoods in Jerusalem as priority sites for massive construction of housing, synagogues and microchip fabs for Olympic use. Landau added that Arab villages would need to be temporarily relocated, “so they’re not inconvenienced by all those Olympics-only roads.”
Transportation Minister and criminal suspect Yisrael Katz declared that Israel’s leadership was so confident about the success of their bid that construction would begin immediately. “They gave Hitler his Olympics, now it better be our turn.” Asked who would occupy the new housing until the Olympics arrived, Katz said, “I have no idea whatsoever.”
Israeli officials announced today that they have submitted a bid to host the 2016 Summer Olympics. Although the formal deadline for applications passed two years ago, Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu said that he “never let international organizations decide what’s best for Israel.” The PM promised that Israel would “vault past” the four cities already chosen as finalists by the International Olympic Committee. “We have something Tokyo, Madrid, Chicago and Rio de Janeiro don’t have – a lethal security barrier.”
After Mr. Netanyahu departed for a “secret meeting with the Russians to discuss Iran,” National Infrastructure Minister and racist crackpot Uzi Landau described the details of the Israeli bid. “Lots of housing. To accommodate all those athletes and personal trainers and whatever, we’ll build thousands of housing units in Judea, Samaria and East Jerusalem.” He identified Ma’ale Adumim and the E-1 area, Givat Ze’ev, Ariel, Har Gilo, the Jordan Valley, Hebron/Kiryat Arba and several Arab neighborhoods in Jerusalem as priority sites for massive construction of housing, synagogues and microchip fabs for Olympic use. Landau added that Arab villages would need to be temporarily relocated, “so they’re not inconvenienced by all those Olympics-only roads.”
Transportation Minister and criminal suspect Yisrael Katz declared that Israel’s leadership was so confident about the success of their bid that construction would begin immediately. “They gave Hitler his Olympics, now it better be our turn.” Asked who would occupy the new housing until the Olympics arrived, Katz said, “I have no idea whatsoever.”
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