Tuesday, June 1, 2010


Hey, Israel massacred the Gaza Aid Flotilla. Know what that means? Once again, it’s time to play Israel’s favorite game, “How Stupid Are You?” Sure, you’re familiar with the game, but for the benefit of new players, let’s review how things work. First, Israel does something despicable and lots of other people die. Then, Israel cranks up its bullshit machine and lies flow out like soap bubbles. Got it so far? Great! Because here’s where you come in. You’ll get 10 seconds to burst each bubble. If you can’t, or - better yet - you don’t even know it’s a lie, a panel of Israel’s top bullshit artists will ring their bells, blow their horns and holler “How Stupid Are You?” And have we got a panel for you! Bibi Netanyahu’s own spin doctor, the bullshitter’s bullshitter, Mark Regev! The word warrior herself, the straightest face in hasbara, Major Avital Leibovich! And our guest panelist, the guy who put the “pro” in propaganda, Yediot Aharonot writer Yoaz Hendel! OK, panel, unleash the lies - and let’s play “How Stupid Are You?!!”

“With the Svengali-like foresight that only remorseless terrorists can muster, the Flotilla organizers orchestrated the massacre from conception to finish, leaving Israel absolutely no choice but to assault the Mavi Mamara with military force, at night, from the air, in international waters, with no mainstream Western journalists around.” Spot any lies? No? How Stupid Are You?

“Israel had every right to defend its sovereignty by attacking and seizing civilian vessels on the high seas, particularly vessels bound for a territory that has hostile relations with Israel. Operation Cast Lead proved how hostile those relations are. In other words, our massacre on land in 2009 justifies our massacre at sea in 2010. Sometimes international law is ironic that way.” Any lies? None? How Stupid Are You?

“Anything an Israeli spokesperson tells you about the events aboard the Mavi Mamara is true and anything you hear later from a so-called humanitarian on the ship is utterly false and anti-Israel incitement. Israel would never be the first to resort to violence.” Any problems with that? How Stupid Are You?

“Our best-of-the-best-of-the-best Shayetet 13 commandos were unarmed, except for paint guns, which they carry in case they land in a beer commercial or fraternity party. Their handguns, rifles and grenades were not ‘weapons’ within this context, but they became weapons when taken away by our enemies.” Kosher? How Stupid Are You?

“The beleaguered Israeli commandos discovered pipes and knives on the Mavi Mamara – objects that are never found on ships. Moreover, as the so-called humanitarians plainly understood, such implements are fully capable of vanquishing and humiliating one of the world’s most powerful armed forces.” Sounds good? How Stupid Are You?

“Forcibly boarding a civilian ship in international water is piracy when Blacks do it off the coast of Africa, but not when Israel does it in the Mediterranean. Consequently, the so-called humanitarians had no right to defend themselves against our best-of-the-best-of-the-best Shayetet 13 commandos. In fact, whenever you call yourself a humanitarian, you forfeit your right to defend yourself.” Cool? How stupid are you?

“With the possible exception of a handful of ideological dupes, the so-called humanitarians are actually terrorists or links in the terror chain - and, as the Israeli ambassador to Denmark cogently observed, there’s a rock-solid rumor that they’re linked to Al Qaeda.” Wow. How Stupid Are You?

“This whole unfortunate incident could’ve been avoided by accepting our offer to inspect the Flotilla at Ashdod and ship actual humanitarian items by land. Of course, our definition of ‘humanitarian’ would’ve applied, which means most of the ships’ cargo would’ve been rejected, and the rest would’ve gone in on our existing slow schedule, thus maintaining the blockaded status quo Israel and her American ally prefer, but this is irrelevant.” Anything? How stupid are you?

“If there were any reason to investigate Israel’s defensive response to the terrorist ambush at sea – and there is none – Israel is more than capable of impartially uncovering the truth of every anti-Israel provocation.” How Stupid Are You?

“Any belligerence or aggression by Israel or the pre-partition Jewish Yishuv was unavoidable self-defense, including the assassinations of UN mediator Folke Bernadotte and Britain’s Lord Moyne, the lynching of British soldiers in retaliation for the capture of Jewish terrorists, the Haifa bus bombings, the bombing of the King David Hotel, the massacres at Deir Yassin and dozens of other Palestinian villages, the sinking of the US ship Liberty, the launch of the 1967 war, every invasion and bombing of Lebanon, the killings of Rachel Corrie, Tom Hurndall and James Miller, Operation Cast Lead, the Dubai hit on Mahmoud al-Mamhouh, the as-yet unidentified victims of the Flotilla Massacre and the thousands of other killings and needless deaths, mostly Arab, that, when listed together, would reveal a culture of megalomania and necrophilia if gentiles were involved.” How...stupid...are...you?

Thanks for playing “How stupid are you?” Please enjoy a cleansing enema - and c’mon back for another game when the next Flotilla approaches Gaza.

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]